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Monday, February 26th, 2007
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5:10 am - Livejournal lol
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So yeah. Today I was reminded I had one of these things. =O
AND IM POSTING OMGOMGOMG! HAI2U GUYS!
On a serious note though.... I'm alive/well/probably pretty much the same as the last time you saw and/or talked to me, though I currently lack a job. Well, a paying job, at least. I don't think sleeping/playing games all day counts as a job >.> Hopefully this is soon to be remedied! (read: funds are running low =p ) ... hope all is well with everyone, I'd try to read your journals and catch up but yeah, there's like 2 years of that to do? So maybe I'll just start reading again now.
Much <3,
Kristin
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| Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
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4:57 am - yeah
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Drinking a large cup of coffee at 3 AM = not one of my better decisions. I was simply going to stay up for an hour or so to try to get a rare item in the game I am addicted to, but that didn't happen, and now I know I will have trouble getting to sleep. However, I did reach level 59 (out of 60) !!!
I did not have the aforementioned party that I was planning on having, so if you did not get an invite, that is why... no one did. Perhaps this will happen at a later date, it just seemed like bad timing as many people went out of town/it got to be too late in the week without me formally telling anyone/I just sort of didn't feel like it.
There are ants in my house. This displeases me, and it seems to happen every summer, regardless of where I live or how clean things are kept. I will take ants any day over the evil mosquitos that were invading a few months ago, though.
I have summer off now! I feel like I am back in early high school or something, since I think that is the last time I really had summer off... probably freshman year of high school. The rest of the summers since then I have either spent working (mostly that) or going to summer school to try to get done with stuff early. Despite me not doing anything productive or mentionable with it yet, it is a great feeling just to be able to wake up on any given day and decide to do something completely impulsive, like drive across the country. Of course, my first thought was to get another job just for the summer, but upon further consideration I decided that I should just enjoy being able to do absolutely nothing for two solid months.
Tomorrow I believe I am going to venture to the store of electronics and purchase more RAM for my computer. This should rule.
Tomorrow is also my younger brother's birthday, he is ... 11 (?) I think. Oh, I guess by tomorrow I mean today, but I haven't gone to sleep yet, so it's not technically the next day. Soon it will also be my older younger brother's birthday, he will be 18, which is completely insane. It seemed like just yesterday we were building forts with blankets + furniture, pelting eachother with legos, and preparing eachother for the cruel, cruel world by throwing out insults and fists. /sigh. Now he is going to COLLEGE for something crazy like computer engineering with a minor in music, I think.
Oh rite, sometime I should figure out my own life, too... still need to actually get a real job (by which I mean, a long-term career job... not that my current job isn't "real"). I still want to make video games, but I have recently become kind of disenchanted with the industry. I blame E3 for this. While it was very cool to see all the new stuff, I saw a lot of things that I didn't like, I guess mostly from the media aspect of it, which I was heavily exposed to. Lots of politics and businessy stuff that clashes with my idealistic visions. I'm not a fool; I realize that no matter what there are going to be business deals and economics that go into any company, I just wish it were not as prevalent as it currently is. Essentially, I wish I could have been making games about 15 years ago. I miss the days of text-based adventures and silly shareware. There are still several great companies and games out today that give me hope, though.
Anyways, now that it is light out, I should probably try giving sleep another chance.
current mood:  awake
current music: radiohead - ok computer
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| Saturday, June 25th, 2005
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1:10 am - Pomposity is when you always think you're right, arrogance is when you know.
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So. Technically only 5 more days of work, until I am unemployed for the summer/yet still get paid. Life is wonderful. Unfortunately I haven't really been going to work a lot lately, since I have been unmotivated to work on maintenance things I have to do, but I guess some of that is getting done this week, and maybe this weekend. Eh. Either way it's all over on the 30th.
Things lately have been pretty ruling, with the exception of minor drama here and there. Among some big news: I got my graphics card on my PC to work, which has been bothering me for like 8 months, or whenever it was that I built the thing. This means I can actually PLAY GAMES on the PC again, without dealing with massive errors and distortion. And by games, I mostly mean World of Warcraft, at this point in time. Although I might get back on playing other games soon. Other news: I have made new friends, have rekindled some old friendships, and hopefully have not lost any current friends, although my presence has been severely lacking lately. Also, I got a bonus at work (whooo!) and my first annual performance evaluation went well.
Recently, by which I mean in the past two months, I have gone to a lot of "management training" classes that have been mostly common sense, but some were still kind of interesting. Mostly it was neat to learn about myself, as we did a few personality-type tests. Although I don't really buy into those completely, they seem to be semi-accurate. Pretty much what I learned is that I am as confusing as ever. So many aspects of how I am fall on complete opposite sides of the various spectrums. This is true in my own self-analysis, too, not just from silly tests. Anyways, another interesting thing from those classes was to see how much things I learned early on in my life still continue to influence me. For example, I used to be a peer counselor waaaay back in the day, like, in jr. high, and I had totally forgotten all about it. But then during these classes, I realized how much I really did learn from all of that training I had before, and probably just from life in general.
I think I might actually have a party soon, it has been a while. Perhaps this time next week. It might be nice to socialize with people in the real world .... =p I'm kidding, kind of.
Oh yeah, another thing from those classes that was kind of crazy is that one time, one of the teachers went all wacky on me about how she was convinced she knew me and that we had met in a past life and all this stuff. Not that I don't believe somewhat in that, but it's just funny when it happens and is one-sided. I don't really know what I am supposed to say. ... "yeah, I'm sure we met, I'm bad with names from previous lives..."? Heh.
One thing that always makes me happy is the area where the 5 meets the 52, when driving west on the 52. I don't really know why, but I think that is one of the prettiest areas around here (well, sans the freeways... I mostly mean the hills/often present fog); it reminds me of places far away.
PST if you would like to go do something fun sometime. This can range from playing capture the flag in the local canyons, to going to magic mountain, to umm... coming to my party that I am having. Yes. This will happen.
<3.
Kristin
current mood: AWESOME
current music: Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta
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| Thursday, April 7th, 2005
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3:07 am - I knew playing a real MMORPG was an awesome.. uh, I mean, bad... idea
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| Saturday, March 19th, 2005
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9:18 pm - pretend that my selective seclusion doesn't make me start to jump to conclusions
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I suppose I should start this entry off by saying that the house is back to its former "glory," by which I mean it's a step better than sleeping outside. I'm mostly kidding, but this Saturday marks the departure of 5-6 living souls from the residence. Whoo! Sanity meter back at half!
I have heard rumors that Justin might be moving back here. Doubtful, but we will see. It'd be nice to have him around again, I think.
I've kind of been doing a lot of jack shit recently. I mean, I cleaned up my room and unpacked my stuff from the GDC trip (oh yeah, I'll go into that in a bit, as I said I would)... I have been doing some stuff for work, of course... but somehow I feel as if I have been doing nothing, and I have no real desire to do anything either. Well, that's not entirely true. I have a newfound interest in getting my act together creatively (doing my website, actually writing something decent, maybe even working on some projects), but as usual all of that stuff is kind of daunting. The past two days I have had off work, and I think all I have done is read stuff on the internet pertaining to gaming, and play games. Not that either of these things are bad, mind you, but I guess since I don't have some sort of physical proof of accomplishment, I feel like I've been wasting time.
A side note: how can someone (me) have 11,041 songs and still not really feel like listening to anything in particular?
The other night I made fajitas. I think I have discussed this, but I have a love/hate relationship with cooking. The love part of it is in the preparation/presentation and getting to do something nice for others. The hate part isn't really worth mentioning. But what is worth mentioning is that I highly enjoy cutting up vegetables. Especially onions. I like a challenge, and the challenge with onions is winning their cruel, cruel game. A vegetable shall never make me cry! Not again!
Whoa.. sorry about that. So yes, the GDC. I'll break this down with bullets ...bullets of pure love.
I lied, they are going to be dashes instead.
Things I learned!:
- Most game developers are people just like you and me. Well, maybe not just like... But they make bad jokes, have insecurities, and like to go out and party just as much (or little) as the next guy on the street. Previously, without even realizing it, I had been sort of putting them up on a pedestal that existed somewhere outside the realm of normal humanity. I realized this is quite silly, and this knowledge gives me hope in some way of one day making it in the industry.
- On the flip side, it does seem as hard, if not harder than I thought to get into the industry. Perhaps I am wrong, but after attending this conference and witnessing skilled people have trouble finding opportunity, it's a bit discouraging. It seems like knowing how to program decently is kind of essential, at least with the whole "work your way up" mentality. This is bad news for me, as I gave up with the computer science some time ago.
- On that note, I want to learn a lot more, both technically and in terms of theory. It was kind of amazing to me how much I was completely ignorant of, and what is even more amazing is how I feel almost caught up with current news just from the past couple of days. But yes, the whole experience made me feel both smart and stupid. Stupid because I feel like a moron for not being able to throw around names and projects and theories as freely as everyone else, and smart because most things I did learn about in the theory realm seem like common sense.
- I should have tried harder to get registered as press. But... I guess E3 is coming up still.
- I take a lot of things around here for granted, and I'm very glad that I do not live in the heart of a big city.
Crap, well I probably learned more but I'm late for work. More later! Or not!
current mood:  sleepy
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| Monday, March 14th, 2005
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12:30 pm - is nothing sacred?!?!
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Well, I have returned from my trip. I imagine I will go into that more later, as I feel that I have learned quite a bit from it, both good and bad. But overall good, since learning is always good.
The main point of this entry is to express my RAGE at the living conditions in my house. You see, the owners of the house (Justin's parents... who, if you didn't know by now, also live with Ryan and I currently. Justin's stepmom is supposedly moving to Arizona permanently at the end of this month, with four (thank god!!!) of the SEVEN dogs, and his dad is supposed to follow suit in September with the other three dogs. We shall see.) Anyways! the owners of the house have been gone for about a week, they left shortly after I left for San Francisco. They left Jordan, Justin's younger brother, in charge of the dogs. Now, I don't blame Jordan at all for this, but the house is a fucking disaster area. I seriously think that I would rather be dealing with the remains of Chernobyl right now... I'll take the radiation over the utter filth that is going on here. I think you would have to see my house to understand the extent of it. The dogs have invaded the "human areas," by that I mean the living room that is fenced off 24/7... they have left "presents" all over the house, including UTOs (unidentifiable thrown-up objects), the garage reeks of urine thanks to the adoptation of soaking up the floor with TOWELS FROM THE BATHROOM (not okay...), the kitchen scares me to the point where I refuse to eat for fear of disease....
is the cheap rent worth this? Sometimes I wonder. There are other non-dog complaints I have too, but honestly I doubt any of you care to hear any more, and I am exhausting myself with ranting.
So yes. More later, when I shall actually compose a legitimate journal entry.
current mood:  pissed off
current music: Sneaker Pimps - Becoming X
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| Sunday, February 20th, 2005
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1:15 pm
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Sometimes I just want to run around, screaming as loud as I can. If I could do that right now I think I might feel better about the massive amounts of work I have to have done ASAP. I feel like I am back in school... with the same impending deadlines and my same traits of procrastination. The thing this time though, is that I actually have been working pretty consistently on projects, only to have more dealt out to me. I suppose I should feel good about that, since it means people trust me to get stuff done and like what I have done so far? But I can't wait until vacation... I essentially get a week off (more or less) in March, but beyond that, I get two whole months off in summer, which I am thinking will be used for a serious vacation... like, a road trip. I'd like very much to go camping, too. I often find myself walking around places and marveling at how beautiful the natrual world can be, and I feel like I don't really see enough of that. Heh, so in short, I'd kind of like to go become a hermit in the woods for about a week (or more). Oh my god, maybe I'd even have time for reading!!! That would be a welcome change; as it is now I have not even had time for video games. =(
Oh wait, I'm complaining again, like I said I didn't want to end up doing. So here ends my tirade. Curses to you, all things that make me too busy! ....Now I'm really done.
current mood:  busy
current music: Final Fantasy 2002 concert
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| Friday, February 18th, 2005
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8:22 am
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So yesterday was a very interesting day. The highlight was getting to meet Danny Boyle, who directed a few movies that some of you might have seen, like Trainspotting, A Life Less Ordinary and 28 days later. Ryan took me to go see his new movie, Millions, which comes out on March 20...umm I forgot, 23rd maybe? Anyways, so he was also there and hung out and chatted with those who wanted to stay after the film. The movie was quite good, nothing that I think will stand up to the test of time, but definitely something I would watch again, and cinematographically very well done. Most enjoyable was the post-movie discussion though, it was both interesting and painful to hear what questions people had to ask. I am quite intrigued by filmmaking. I would love to make movies, because I think I have very strong instincts about how I would want things to look and play out... but at the same time it is something that I think many other people can do far better than me, and I am kind of afraid to really try something like that because I know that no matter how wonderful something I make may be, it will never live up to the artistic vision I probably have of it. Heh, it might be a problem when one's own expectations are even too high for oneself. Anyways, that is my problem with most art, and what pains me is that at the same time, I know that I want and need to be doing something artistic with my life.
Carrying on though, Mr. Boyle was quite the exceptional human being, I didn't really know what to expect of him but I certainly was not expecting him to be so friendly and down-to-earth. I was quite impressed with his character; he seems like the type of person I'd like to take out to lunch and chat with about intelligent things. Anyhow, during the film I was also thinking about how spoiled we (by "we" I mean the viewing public, but probably to some extent, Americans) are probably becoming. I found myself impressed visually by many aspects of the film, and this made me think about how the vast majority of people probably take a lot of the work that goes into creating scenes and getting certain shots right for granted. Not to say that I am any expert; I am just about as far from that as one could get. But I do know how much work it is, and how hard it can be to get just the right blend of light/angle/all that stuff... and this is without going for any sort of unique or over-the-top factor, which I feel is almost necessary to get any sort of special recognition from today's audience. I wonder the same thing about all forms of media (well, I suppose mostly music, games, and film... books to a lesser extent). I wonder really how far we are going to push boundaries and expectations, and will there be a breaking point, where we just run out of ideas? I suppose that is kind of a stupid question, for ideas spawn technology, and new technology allows for the creation of new ideas utilizing that technology. Therefore, it seems like the cycle will never be broken. I suppose I am always kind of asking that question though... I always want to know "what's next".
I'm sure I had more to say regarding the movie and discussion, but right now I'm at a loss. So here are a few other things that happened yesterday:
- I ran into Sophie, who I have not seen for... jeez, nearly a year now. We talked for quite a while, oh and Meghan, if you are reading this, she says hello. Not that I will see her anytime soon to say hello back for you, but she was asking how you are doing and such. It is funny, and strange, I really cannot go anywhere on campus without running into at least one person that I know. This makes me feel oddly popular, but I am most certainly not (I don't think)... I think I just also know a lot of people who are present frequently on campus.
- I did some more review editing, now instead of writing them I have been working on editing other peoples' work, which is fine, and fun in a way, but quite tedious.
- lots of watching Ryan play Prince of Persia. That game is pretty awesome, I'd also be playing it except I have about 20 other games on my plate at the moment (not really, but it feels like it, nearly), and I still have so much other crap to get done.
I suddenly lost all motivation to finish this entry... for some unknown reason I woke up at 7 (?!?) this morning and now the tiredness is kicking in, so I think I am going to pass out for a few hours before work.
current mood: missing people and spare time
current music: The End of Evangelion
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| Sunday, February 13th, 2005
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1:18 pm - I am the very model of a modern major-general
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In the past week I have written quite a few entries out, and deleted them. I am glad I did this though, for they were mostly just me expressing anxiety and depression, to an extent, about getting all the stuff done that I need to do. The big projects are writing job descriptions for my real job, doing a bunch of review edits/writing reviews for my fake job, and still getting my room(s) organized... both of which are still minor disaster areas. However, now I feel much better about these things and do not feel the need to whine about them.
My fish is completely insane, which is good... he is constantly trying to get attention by "dancing" (swimming like a maniac) wherever he sees my reflection travel to. I think mostly he just wants food, but he's kind of a pig, which fits in well. ("Crono, you're such a pig!" hahaha... okay yeah, no one gets that but me probably).
Today is my dad's birthday. I have no idea how old he is, because I lose track of these things. I didn't get him anything yet because, well, I have no clue what to get him. What do you get dads? I'd be tempted to get him either video games, or one of the dvd sets that he loves (star wars, lord of the rings, stuff along those lines... ) but my family doesn't even own a functional DVD player (wtf?!?!) and he already spends enough time playing games, so I have no clue what a good present would be.
The other day I was thinking a lot about space, space as in the universe. Ryan and I were discussing things like the possibility of life on other planets.. like, if life forms such as ourselves do exist somewhere else, and also where the next most likely inhabitable planet would be. We were also talking about how weird it is that the universe is essentially boundless, at least as far as we are able to comprehend. I wonder what would happen should someone actually travel to the "end of the universe"... not that it's possible, but still I wonder. Would you just evaporate from cosmic forces I do not understand? Would you reach a barrier of sorts that cannot be traveled past? Or is the universe more simliar to a sphere, like our earth is, so you would not even ever know that you had reached the end? And if it is a sphere, what exists beyond that sphere? I kind of feel like the people that thought the world was flat. I am sure there are some scientific answers to this, but I do not know them.
All of this talk led me to thinking about what would happen should our world become suddenly unihabitable... would we all try to move to the moon (assuming it was safe to live there at the time), and if so, would that create an entire war? Like, would Americans try to claim it as their own, since we were the first to "claim" it already? I do not agree with this attitude, for I feel that everything on this planet and beyond the scope of this planet belongs to all living creatures, but I would not be surprised if the US did decide to pull something like trying to claim the entire moon as their own. This led to a lot of speculation on how this war would play out, and I think (with a lot more development) it would make a good book, appealing in terms of sci-fi aspects and also as a commentary on society and world politics. Knowing my luck though, this has probably already been done, heh.
We were also talking a lot about evolution and natural selection and all of that... I was wondering what would happen if there were a few animals of the same species in a zoo, and if the rest of their species died out naturally in the world... what would happen if they were suddenly released back into the environment? Would it throw off the entire balance of nature, assuming these animals held an essential enough role in the food chain? As cruel as it sounds, I don't think we should be preserving species that die out naturally. I definitely am in favor of preserving endangered species that we made to be endangered (from poaching, world development, and the like), but I kind of feel like animals that are left alone and still die out were meant to die in the script written by nature.
Anyways that was all kind of disjointed thought, which I should have written out better... so I am not surprised if much of it does not make a lot of sense, or seems obvious to many. On that note, I think I am going to begin participating in the day now, by which I probably mean lounging in my room. Whooo Sundays!
current mood:  lazy
current music: Music from The Pirates of Penzance, which is awesome
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| Friday, February 4th, 2005
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1:41 am - she misses people she hasn't even met
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Today I bought a betta fish. His name is Crono (like from chrono trigger, the game I am playing still and adore) and he is full of personality. I am funny about picking out pets, and anything for that matter. I seriously spent about an hour in the pet store today deciding which was the right fish. I actually knew he was it as soon as I saw him but I had to go and look at all the other ones just to make sure, and give them all a chance I guess. They all want to be liberated from their tiny plastic cups.
I also used to have this bird (well, still do, he just lives with my family in Kentucky now) named Chance, who is completely insane... in the best of ways. I had the same experience when picking him out of all the other birds in the pet store, he was a really young bird at that time, and didn't know how to talk or anything yet... but I kind of knew that he had a great personality, and sure enough he did. I miss him sometimes, not that I would really want to be taking care of a bird right now. I just miss having pets in general (especially cats, I love cats)... which I could psychologically analyze, but I'll spare everyone from that.
All of the fish-picking-out business made me wonder what it must be like to live in a pet store, I mean... is the fish lonely, now that he does not have 25 of his buddies surrounding him in the wall of plastic cups? Does he miss flourescent lighting and the staff members that used to feed him? What is it like for betta fish in the ocean, or wherever they actually live? I have no idea about these things, but Crono seems to be quite happy in the japanese village (some of you know what I am talking about, I have a themed fishbowl), and I must say his room is nicer than mine (he lives in the small room attached to mine).
Today I was also playing some atari 2600, because I was setting it up in the previously mentioned small room. Atari 2600 is... strange. I think it is great that it still amuses me so much, even though all of the games on it are painfully simple. They are still entertaining because they, in a sense, represent the essence of gaming. I also love that all of the cartridges say "game program" on them. And I find myself acting very childish when playing, I'm not sure if that is because I have a strong connection between that specific console and my childhood, or if the simplicity of it all just evokes simplistic emotions from me.
I have been buying so much stuff lately. But all of it is great stuff. I also found out some pretty excellent news, that I will be getting a day off that I was concerned about not getting off because it would cut a trip I am taking in March short. But now I can stay the whole week! This excites me greatly.
This weekend I have to work the La Jolla Symphony all weekend, which kind of sucks. I mean, they are pretty cool to watch and everything, but it's a drag to have to work Friday-Sunday, and they always pick the worst weekends to perform. Examples: halloween weekend, superbowl weekend (not that I really care, I had no special plans), the weekend I am going on the San Fran trip (which may as well be a holiday as far as I am concerned)... I expect next they will want to perform on Christmas. Well I'm going overboard a bit, probably, but still.
Well... time for my usual routine of video games/sleep/possible insomnia (although that seems to have faded out, yay?!)
current mood: bittersweet happiness?
current music: awesomely cheesy 80s music
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| Friday, January 21st, 2005
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2:02 am
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It turns out there was a screw in my tire after all, which I found when I got it taken care of. Thank you to those who gave advice.
I've been so happy lately, but for some reason right now I feel kind of hollow and alone. I have not been spending as much time doing things online as I have been before. Or, maybe I have, but all of the other busy stuff I've been doing makes it seem like I haven't been around much.
Last night I got only 3 hours of sleep, which isn't really so bad, but I should be ready to pass out by now, and I'm not. I also don't want to really attempt to start doing anything though because I think I will end up sleeping anyways. Hmm.
Today I took a "management leadership" class that was on the subject of coaching others. It was kind of interesting, although I felt like most of it was common sense. That's probably a good sign, though.
Anyways, I am boring myself with this entry so I will come back soon and write more when I feel a bit better/post-sleeping.
current mood: eh, great still but distant
current music: various instrumental music from kare kano
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| Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
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9:04 pm - The wheels on my car go 'round and 'round... or do they?
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Today, being my "day off," I went into work for about 4 hours because I had to go to a few meetings and take care of a few things. After leaving work, I went to my storage space in pacific beach in order to continue cleaning it out. I must say that I am making excellent progress with both that and with the room upstairs so far. I am so very pleased with how this room is turning out, it is greater than I ever imagined it would be. Anyways, back to the story.
So after leaving my storage space, and driving on the 5 from the PB exit about a mile, I start hearing this god awful sound, as if something was grinding against the road. At first I assume, hey, it must be one of these huge trucks speeding up the 5 that always sound like they are about to fall apart. But then as the trucks around me passed, I continued to hear the noise. Then, it started to smell of burning mechanics. Growing worried, I glanced over my right shoulder to see if maybe I ran over something (like a scrap of tire) again. Instead, I see smoke trailing behind my car and the sound goes from a low scraping noise to a more intense rumbling, as if something were about to explode. I calmly pulled over to investigate.
After diving to the passenger's seat to escape (exiting the driver's side would have meant death), I walked around the car and found... the entire tire on the back right had split in two and was completely deflated, barely even attached to my car anymore. This situation was increased in badness because:
- My cell phone was completely dead, and I had no way of charging it or contacting anyone in any other way.
- My entire trunk and back seat was full of shit from storage, so I had to unload it all to get to the emergency tire, which I didn't even know how to change, nor did I have the tools to change it. ....Well okay, so I had some of the tools, but I didn't have a carjack and I was afraid of trying to change it without that, I didn't want to injure myself or the car anymore.
So, I tried to deal with the situation in a rational way. First I got back in the car and thought really hard about possible answers to the problems at hand. Then I tried turning my cell phone on multiple times, hoping it would actually stay on for enough time for me to call someone. No luck. Then I read all of the brochures in my glove compartment that I still have from when I bought the car, in case maybe I could find a number to call (once I found a phone) or maybe by some strange stroke of luck they would have a "what to do if your tire falls apart in the middle of the freeway at the busiest time of day and you have only seen people change tires in the movies" pamphlet. Then I thought about breaking down and crying a lot. If this had happened to me sometime in the distant past I probably would have gone with that plan, but I think I have gotten better at dealing with things in general, and I have been in a great mood lately, so instead I opted to take out my laptop and try to look for wireless internet (in a passing car? don't ask what I was thinking), and maybe write some more on my game reviews. After a few minutes of that I decided that I should try harder. So, I wrote a note on a napkin that essentially said "I'll be back to fix this, please don't tow me away or steal my stuff" and stuck it on the dash. I put on my backpack that had life essentials in it (laptop, wallet, nintendo DS, some netflix), and resolved to walk either to school, where I could contact people from my office, or to home if I was feeling really ambitious... and by ambitious I mean insane.
However, this whole plan made me uncomfortable because I didn't like leaving my car (also filled with expensive stuff), and I would have to either walk on the freeway, which I think is illegal, or attempt to jump a few fences to get down to this industrial area where I could walk safely. So I kind of stayed by the car with my backpack on for a few minutes in hopes of a miracle.
Luckily, one did pull up. A highway service guy! Not only did he change my tire, but he changed my tire for free! I had no idea that these people even existed, but it sure did really save me, and just in time. I'm not really too upset about the whole thing, I mean it sucks that I have to buy a new tire, but hopefully I can get part of it covered under warranty, or something. The plus sides are that now I know highway service guys exist, I learned how to change a tire (yeah that sounds lame, I should have known that by now but I don't), and I think that maybe my rims (well, that one at least) got pretty screwed up, so now I have an excuse to buy new ones! Haha. Mostly though I am just really thankful to be home safe and that things didn't end up worse than they did.
Moral of the story: umm, keep your cell phone charged.
current mood:  thankful
current music: Phantom of the Opera - All I ask of you
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| Sunday, January 16th, 2005
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2:14 am - Today was one of the best days I have had in a long time
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and I have been having excellent luck with consistent good days, even. Too tired. No talk now. Woke up at 7 AM. Must talk in incomplete sentences. Use caveman speak. Kristin like Crono. UGG!
To sum it up coherently though, I am going to be sleeping ON THE COUCH in my new room in a few minutes, I adore my friends, video games are still awesome (in case you forgot), I have been very well received at the site I started writing for so far (did I even mention that on here? I have no idea, and I apologize if I did not say anything, but I write video game reviews for NintendoNow.com)... they even want to give me more responsibility (review manager !!?!!) which was completely unexpected and surprising considering I have been a huge slacker as far as I am concerned. I'm very excited about some upcoming events, it finally stopped raining, work has been great, it seems I really am going to E3, and every day I am amazed by little things of beauty that I often take for granted.
<3 life <3
I guess I did have some energy left in me, but now I am going to get the best sleep ever. Exhaustion is great sometimes.
current mood: taking pollution down to zero
current music: The theme song to Captain Planet
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| Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
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1:44 am - who ya gonna call?
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Boy, I sure do have a lot I want to talk about. Unfortunately most of it will have to wait until I am at a better place to gather my thoughts.
The moving has been going quite well. My storage space is about 65% cleaned out now, amazingly all done with my civic so far. Ryan and I have been hanging out a lot, which is fun. The other night we spent about 6 hours talking, 5 of which were devoted to our respective histories with video games. We've also gotten kind of addicted to mario golf, which is pretty awesome. Tonight we hung out in the little room, which is now named "Seizures Palace" (like Caesar's Palace, only "seizures" because it should induce seizures due to all the crazy lighting).. anyways, we talked about Egypt and Greek culture/mythology for a while, and then a lot of psychology stuff. I really enjoy good conversation, I had an excellent conversation last night too.
Also I am fairly convinced my room may be haunted, or something of the sort. In fact I have always kind of thought the house was, mostly the living room gives me weird vibes, and I have never hung out in this room until now really. Justin never seemed to say anything about weird going-ons, but Katie had at least once incident that I know of. I suppose most of the weirdness can be explained, except a few things. For example, often I will start to go to bed without turning off the reciever, which "reminds" me to turn it off by making the speakers pop all sorts of crazy noises as soon as I decide to actually lay down, but not before. So then I turn it off with the remote, put the remote down on the floor, and go to sleep. The next day, on a few occasions so far, the reciever will be back on and the volume often at half its maximum. I'm trying to write this off as umm... electricity in the air, and me stepping on the remote unknowingly and coincidentally hitting both the power and volume buttons each time? Unlikely, but sure.
Then tonight Ryan and I were hanging out in the palace, and a number of strange things happened. The strangest was that upon entering, I turned on all of the crazy lights except for one lava lamp in the corner, which I said I didn't want to bother with because it wasn't very bright, and it was on a separate switch that had to be fished out from where I stuck it down in the wall; it is not on a power strip like the rest of all the lights are. Anyways so we were talking a while and then we both had to get up and go to the bathroom, so he went to the one up here and I went downstairs. I came back before he was out of the bathroom, came in here and was getting some soda, then he came in and we both went back to lounging, except for that somehow unknown to both of us (unless Ryan is fucking with me, in which case he will be punished severely), the lava lamp was turned on and the switch now visible. The rest of the stuff is the standard stuff that you hear and see when you are looking for such things... we heard weird noises, we saw some stuff move that we both thought shouldn't have, Ryan thought something brushed against his leg... stuff like that. Those things are all excusable in my eyes since they are probably invented or exaggerated by the mind. However the technical stuff is not, unless just all of a sudden multiple things of mine are having odd technical flukes.
Anyways, it's all pretty silly but it does kind of scare me a little bit I guess. I have lived in a "haunted" house before, like legitimately... which I don't really talk about very much because most people do not or will not believe in such things. I, however, do to some extent. I guess because I have been exposed to too much of it to not believe in it somewhat. At least I have had no bad experiences really, and if there is a ghost haunting my current room I am glad it seems to be as into electronics and lighting as I am, heh. As long as it doesn't fuck around with my game consoles too much, we will be on good terms.
On that note, I suppose I should try to get some sleep. Let's see what happens this time.
current mood: haunted
current music: The Jealous Sound - What's Wrong Is Everywhere
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| Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
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12:45 am - getting back on track
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I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to take care of. I want so much to be on top of everything, and to keep in good contact with people, and to respond to emails and messages on time, to pay bills on time, to not have stacks of mail piling up in my room, to finally get everything out of my storage space and organized and/or sold off. I am supposed to move up to Justin's room but I fear that my couch will not fit up there aside from taking it through the window, which is a problem since his room is on the second floor.
I was going through old email today and I feel really bad about not getting back to some people, and not replying to LJ comments, and basically being kind of a slacker with stuff like that. I really do mean well, but it's like I put it aside with intentions to take care of it later, and then I forget about it, or it gets lost in the mess of other stuff. I wish I could stop time for about, well probably a month, so that I could get caught up and have a clean slate and not always be getting overwhelmed because I have so much to catch up on. Sometimes I wish I was more like how I was in high school, when I was... well, OCD about getting stuff done and keeping track of everything. I just need to get all this stuff done somehow so that I can actually start feeling productive, and so that I will have time to do things like read, and work on creative projects. Two things I would like to do a lot more of. I really wish work did not start up again on Monday; I kind of wish I had spent more of my vacation in San Diego so that I could have used the break to take care of stuff, but I really enjoyed seeing my family and didn't really realize how much I missed them, even though they do drive me kind of crazy at times.
So I'm sorry to those of you that I neglect at times, but I do think about you and just because I don't get in touch with you often doesn't mean that I like you any less or feel like we are growing apart, or anything like that. And I am sorry for canceled plans and not returning phone calls too. One of many many many resolutions I have is to be better about this kind of thing.
Last night for new years I went to a party over at Chad's house, he is a good friend of Ryan and friends with Justin and I as well. It was okay, I was quite awkward there because I didn't really know anyone that well, so I mostly sat and observed things and talked to people now and then. But there was lots of champagne at midnight and I think the people there were my kind of people, maybe? Maybe not. But the party was severely lacking in video games, and well, any games, which was kind of a bummer. As soon as the parental units have evacuated this house I plan on having a "new housewarming" party in which I will hopefully rekindle friendships and get back on the non-socially inept path.
I want to talk more about my trip and my family and more resolutions and Christmas and video games and what not but I think now is a good stopping point. Best wishes to all.
current mood: overwhelmed
current music: The Moldy Peaches - Lazy Confessions
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| Friday, December 31st, 2004
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10:59 pm
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I'm back in California.
I miss quite a few people right now, including Justin, who left a few hours ago to go live in New Orleans.
I had better go party it up tonight or I'll probably just stay at home being quasi-depressed and then regret not doing anything.
Christmas was awesome. My family is hilarious. I miss those kids. Snow is mildly overrated. So are credit cards.
Tonight I am going to wear a shiny plastic (?) crown with green tinsel trim and be the life of the party, no matter what I end up doing.
I accomplished a fair amount of stuff today but it feels like I didn't do anything at all. Time flies when... you're not waiting for something.
Here's wishing you all love, peace and SOUL for 2005. Kiss someone at midnight for me.
current mood: half-full
current music: a strangely quiet house
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| Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
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1:14 am - Avalanche or roadblock...
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Well I made it to Kentucky. The flight over was mediocre, I mostly just played the DS and tried to sleep (but failed), then I had to change planes in Charlotte from 5:30 - 8:30 AM, which was pretty lame. I was hungry so I ate this "southern style" (as I found out, the place meant "greasy" by that) breakfast at the only cafe that was open at that time there and it upset my stomach for the rest of the day. Oh yes, I also managed to make a scene on BOTH planes, somehow.
Anyways, I shall save the stories for when I talk to you wondeful folks again. As it turns out, the internet is a piece of shit here, I guess the rest of the time it works fine but now that I'm here it's gone to hell. I can connect randomly, at speeds slower than your worst dial-up nightmares. If I am able to post this, I think I might have a heart attack and die of surprise. So needless to say, I probably won't really be online until I get back home, or maybe I will if conditions improve. But in case I am not able to talk to anyone, I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season and I hope you are spending it in the best of spirits. Also thanks to those who have commented on my previous entries, I appreciate your warm wishes and like hearing what you have to say. =)
ALSO, it is SNOWING here. I think this is the first time I have seen real snow falling from the sky. I kind of saw snow in San Diego when I was in the 1st grade (I think) but it lasted for approximately 30 seconds. The snow here has been going all day. In fact, we are snowed in, the front door is blocked with about 3 feet of it. Luckily though, the back door is accessible, and also earlier I attained some mad snow shoveling skillz while helping my siblings make a huge snow fort (which is also now buried, along with pretty much everything outside). So all of this is very strange and new to me. My parents have a pretty cool house (this is the first time I have ever been out here), complete with a basement (YAY!!! another thing I have never seen!), pond, tree fort, barn, random stables and some foresty area. I kind of want to turn the yard into a laser tag/horseback battle/snowboarding course. And of course, this is feasible, like most of my grand plans are.
Somewhat unfortunately, I have already gotten used to east coast time, so I think I am now going to go pass out. Or play video games. Good night, all!
current mood: snowy
current music: Bach - Organ Fugue in G Minor
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| Monday, December 20th, 2004
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4:43 pm - A list of crap to do before I leave
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This is for my own personal use, since I often find myself sitting around in front of the laptop, doing pointless things on the internet (like checking LJ) instead of doing what I should be doing. So maybe I will come here trying to procrastinate, see this list, and get my ass in gear.
TO DO BEFORE TOMORROW NIGHT TONIGHT:
More laundry.
Get some CA$H from the bank.
Pack. and pack. and pack some more. (memo to myself: BRING WARM CLOTHES YOU IDIOT, KENTUCKY IS PROBABLY COLD AND HAS THAT WEIRD WHITE CRAP THAT FALLS FROM THE SKY.)
Get my amazon.com credit card unsuspended (!) don't ask, short story but basically I forgot to pay it and it's new so it's not setup to be paid thru my bank yet.
Contest multiple parking violations.
Finish my game reviews and mail the games back.
Take some netflix and GBA games, along with the DS, on the plane.
Work out some remaining business on the EBAY.
Take my timecard and whatnot back to work.
Print out itinerary, also, figure out what time my plane is.
Hang out with Justin for the last time and try to not get too sappy.
Call my parents and make sure they are still picking me up
Buy some diet coke to bring since they are not going to give me enough, if any at all, since I cheaped out with flights.
Get gas to get to the airport with.
Get on the plane.
Make sure Justin doesn't lose my car keys.
current mood:  mischievous
current music: Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence
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| Sunday, December 19th, 2004
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1:34 am - And here is where I rant about DDR
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Okay, so the other night I was thinking... why don't they have something simple that allows you to do DDR to any of your own personal music? It can be done, I could even build something myself that would be primitive, but functional... I'd need someone with some mad programming skillz to help with the designation of beats -> steps, and to help with graphics but I could totally build the hardware for the laptop/mp3 player connection to the computer/video game console.
The footwork would have to be randomly generated, by random I mean based on the beats but the actual directions (up, down, left, right arrows) and instructions (hold, double, etc) would have to be random to some extent. Which maybe they already were for standard DDR? I mean, yeah they are the same every time you play a certain difficulty and song, but how were they made in the first place? Were they randomly generated based on beat structure, or did someone actually sit down and go "yes.. I think in this part of 'dark side of the sun ultra rave mix 3.4' it would be good to have it go: up up down double jump down/up hold left hold right"? And if someone DID actually sit down and figure all that out... 1) I'd like to have a talk with them about some of their choreography 2) do they go around saying "yes, I am the grand master choreographer for dance dance revolution. I make the arrows that make the whole world dance."
The simplified plan:
To make this machine I am proposing, all you have to do is use the audio signal as electricity and separate the frequencies into different categories that are controlled by a series of resistors. Each time a signal makes it past (or doesn't make it past, depending on how you want to wire it) a certain resistor, a SCR will be turned on and will then send a "go" signal to a main microprocessor which from there will control the designation of dance pad arrows, thereby "syncing" it up to the music. One of my electronics projects did this exact same thing, although instead of going to a LED-lighted dance pad the audio signal went to a series of uplights (floor-mounted par cans) so I basically made a music controlled party light show.
In conclusion:
This needs to happen. Also what needs to happen is karaoke + toned down ddr and also some drumming perhaps, or VIRTUAL SWORD FIGHTING. In the meantime I will settle for regular sword fighting. Any takers?
current mood: um, full of love?
current music: Plaid's remix of Bjork's "All is full of love"
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| Monday, December 13th, 2004
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2:27 am - excessive inhalation of vapors can be fatal.
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Well, I am still sick, but getting better I think (I hope). I have lost the past couple of days to sleep and general resting up, by which of course I mean video games and pointless stuff on the internet.
Tomorrow night is the peak of the meteor shower which I am sure most of you already know about. Every time there is a meteor shower I always wish there was someone who I knew that would indulge me in my craziness and go drive a half an hour or so with me to sit and watch it away from the city lights. I would really like to take time-lapse pictures of the stars/shower... I never did do that star trail photography which I was so determined to do umm 2 years ago now? Heh. And the furthering (beginning?) of my website is kind of waiting on me to do that, in a way, since I had developed a design of sorts around it. But alas it only exists in my head, which can be said for many things.
I suppose going out in the cold night to take pictures of stars is not what the doctor ordered for curing the sickness, anyways.
Last night I stayed up all night, then went to work at 6:30 AM this morning to help set up audio for a radio show, which wasn't really bad at all, and we spent a lot of the time investigating the tunnels under mandeville, which was fun. Then I got to go home early and sleep, which is good because I was tired but bad because I haven't really been working a lot and need to meet some sort of hourly requirement for the month, which I imagine I will be making up for this week.
Today I finally started working on the game reviews I am supposed to be doing, which made me realize a few things:
- Game reviews are a lot harder than they seem to write. Or maybe it's just because these are my first ones and I am worrying too much about how they sound.
- It has been a really long time since I have written anything formally, where I actually paid attention to writing conventions.
- On that note, I miss writing in that fashion, and in general really. I mean, this (LJ) is writing, but it's extremely casual or I am usually just venting or rambling about something that was absorbing my attention at the time.
Also as soon as Justin has moved out, I am taking over his room, which will rule. His room is bigger, has carpet, has a small room attached to it that I am going to convert into a lounge, is upstairs, has a lock on the door, has the router (!!!! yessssss xbox live and stable internut here I come) in it, and probably there are about 1076 other things great about it which I am sure I will cover when the time comes. Downsides are that I won't have the solitude of the entire downstairs anymore, I have to move all my shit and remount my speakers, etc... and supposedly his room is haunted, says a few people. But that's cool... more story material. Or maybe the ghost is good at halo 2. We'll see.
current mood: still sick
current music: Massive Attack - Mezzanine
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